In The Aftermath of Sue

Having consulted with my tutor about a potential direction for my Unit Three project, I have come to the decision that I need to come to a decision regarding the purpose of my investigation. I am conscious that this makes me look a little lost and perhaps clueless, but it is not that I am straining to find something that I am interested in, it's more that there are so many things I feel like I could explore and investigate, but I don't feel a particularly stronger urge towards any particular one.

It has been recommended to me that I explore drawing or painting from life, as opposed to photographs, which is something I agree would be beneficial, as it removes the middle man, allowing me to work without having to account for the limited interpretive abilities of the camera's sensor.

There is a key dillema in my ideas on portraiture. On one hand, I lean towards the aesthetic, deliberately choosing subjects who I find to be beautiful (in relation to my own sense of beauty) or interesting on a superficial level. I enjoy trying to capture the features which create this ephemeral element, breaking down an intangible concept into physical shapes, cheekbones chins and eyebrows. However, on the other hand, I feel like I should strive for something more meaningful than beauty, and that I should perhaps be more honest in my work. I sometimes find the aforementioned romanticising of everything sickly, and at one point, after watching a harrowing documentary on the subject,  felt compelled to paint pictures of children with facial disfigurements. This is perhaps an extreme response, but nevertheless, I think an embracing of the grimy truths of faces and bodies might be an artistically - and spiritually (?) helpful exercise. Self-portraiture was discussed in my consultation, and proves an interesting vehicle for this contradiction.

This latter idea may be driven by my belief that portraiture should be meaningful - more than just an accurate representation of a face and character. They must say something more universal and identifiable. I just need to figure out what it is that I want to say.